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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?